When something is created for men and boys, women and girls learn to use it and adapt it to our needs. When it’s the other way around, the gents always need a “manly” version. What gives? Why can’t you use a product that was originally intended for women without sacrificing your so-called balls?
I write this for two reasons.
One was the emergence of dude-Pinterest wannabes. When Pinterest first got going, it attracted a more female-centric audience. The whole idea behind Pinterest itself is completely unisex. My personal definition of Pinterest (a platform that is an online corkboard; saving ideas, photos, etc. that can be found all in one place) doesn’t set it as a female or male system. However, because women started using Pinterest more, it became a “female” thing. Now, from my personal experience in Social Media, we all know these dude versions will never last or suffice. Pinterest lucked out, at the right place and the right time. But the idea that there needs to be a male counterpart still unnerves me.
Two was a compliment I gave the other day to a male acquaintance of mine. He was rocking a ferocious pinky ring that reminded me of this. I told him it was very Beyonce and he took offence. I never meant it as you are very feminine, like Beyonce but more along the lines of you are very fierce, like Beyonce. In addition, if someone was to tell me I was BAMF-y like Jay-Z, I would be honored. So why shouldn’t the opposite work for men?
The fact that these minor issues still exist is why I’m feminist. These incidents are small battles. To some, they might not be worth fighting. But if we can change the mentality for little things, the bigger issues will be easier to tackle.
“Whenever you give up an apartment in New York and move to another city, New York turns into the worst version of itself. Someone I know once wisely said that the expression “It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there” is completely wrong where New York is concerned; the opposite is true. New York is a very livable city. But when you move away and become a visitor, the city seems to turn against you. It’s much more expensive (because you need to eat all your meals out and pay for a place to sleep) and much more unfriendly. Things change in New York; things change all the time. You don’t mind this when you live here; when you live here, it’s part of the caffeinated romance to this city that never sleeps. But when you move away, your experience change as a betrayal. You walk up Third Avenue planning to buy a brownie at a bakery you’ve always been loyal to, and the bakery’s gone. Your dry cleaner move to Florida; your dentist retires; the lady who made the pies on West Fourth Street vanishes; the maitre d’ at P.J. Clarke’s quits, and you realize you’re going to have to start from scratch tipping your way into the heart of the cold, chic young woman now at the down. You’ve turned your back from only a moment, and suddenly everything’s different. You were an insider, a native, a subway traveler, a purveyor of inside tips into the good stuff, and now you’re just another frequent flyer, stuck in a taxi on Grand Central Parkway as you wing in and out of La Guardia. Meanwhile, you read that Manhattan rents are going up, they’re climbing higher, they’re reached the stratosphere. It seems that the moment you left town, they put a wall around the place, and you will never manage to vault over it and get back into the city again.”—“Secret to Life: Marry an Italian,” and Other Gems from Nora Ephron (via bbook)
“I’d been the one telling young women at my lectures that you can have it all and do it all, regardless of what field you are in. Which means I’d been part, albeit unwittingly, of making millions of women feel that they are to blame if they cannot manage to rise up the ladder as fast as men and also have a family and an active home life (and be thin and beautiful to boot).”—